Let me start off by saying:
Breathe
In....
1...
2...
3....
Out...
Again Set 2
In....
1...
2...
3...
Out....
Last Set
In....
1...
2...
3...
Out....
Now continue breathing at your own pace
.......
,,,,,
,,,,,,,,,,
.......
.
Quote for today:
It's important to remember to breathe and be happy with gratitude that we can breathe.
Nitty Gritty:
Check-in: How am I?
Pandemic!!!
Let me set the mood
It all happened on Friday the 13th, 2020, 13 weeks after the last Friday the 13th in December 2019, and the second Friday the 13th in November 2020 comes exactly 39 (3 x 13) weeks before next year's sole Friday the 13th on August 13, 2021 .
I was gathering my belongings at work and clearing my locker on my last Friday shift with little thought of what the future would bring, since we were told by SFUSD, on Thursday, that students and teachers, "if sick, you will be excused, doctors note not needed'. As a paraprofessional, I am trained in verbal and physical deescalation and work in classrooms with children that have moderate to severe autism. I don't get paid much, but do find it a very fulfilling. I have been a para for 3 years and am continuing to learn more about autism and the brain and behavior of people in general. I'll go into more depth about the work I do in another blog post but for now my focus is on how the "pandemic" is effecting me.
Being told that school will be closed at first was a mixture of emotions. Questions in my mind ran rampant. In the flip side I was excited that this may be an opportunity for me to travel and just go to another country, probably an island and thoughts of just going to one the duration of this madness. I tried to keep as positive as possible and even cried to a close friend of how work has been really stressful and how this opportunity got me thinking that I can be open to diving into a new. To just fly away with not much and just be. But my friend checked and grounded me; we couldn't just do that though, we could, cuz we have our responsibilities.
As the weekend passed, me, my friends, colleagues, saw the severity of this virus. Global death count increased -- like the 'taxi meter' my dad said -- and countries, states, going on lockdown because they wanted to flatten the curve of folks being infected was prevalent. Alarmed by hospitals being overwhelmed by patients. And ending with another job of mine sending me the notice of "furlough". The last time i heard of this term was in university, "furlough" days.
I worked my last Water Aerobics Class with hopeful and positive members and gave them my positive energy but the ambiance and still air of uncertainty, was noticeable as I played my music and instructed the next movement for my class. A friendship that was halted in November by someone projecting on their own insecurities opened up to me and expressed their apology and I understood their distance because I have my own story and understood their own too, ghosting. Gave my last physical proximities to my close friends and then went into quarantine and into the new new: social distancing.
Fast Forward 3 weeks and after what was supposedly my Spring Break, here I am now:
Keepin up the Kababayan spirit, it's dope getting a routine in play and staying connected virtually. Meetings with SFUSD Filipino Leaders, and Saturday morning reflections/workout with @heystrongbabe with workouts led by personal trainer @LeahRecania and wellness talks by blogger @IslaHoney, and individual workouts with mi hermana, Bay Area Foodie Wednesday dinners hosted by @Dandy.Eats, and talking to loved ones and spreading my love and continuing to be loving when fear is out and in here. I also was able to do a week workout challenge that had me so sore by personal trainer @Mario. Now I'm just trying to find free workouts online or trying to just stay motivated myself.
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| I also have been continuing my baby Podcast which is very uplifting and therapeutic. I have found refuge in speaking out my vulnerabilities and inviting guess to speak with me. Find 20+ of my episodes of my and others spiritual journey at: https://anchor.fm/JayRayDntPlay or on my Spotify |
There are days where it's been tough where I have felt like I could be doing more for myself and others, but staying grounded and allowing myself to be ok with my feelings is what I try to remember and that it's a balance.
I think I'm doing A OK while still creating and still breaking down from time to time. Ain't nothing different, I got my good days and I have my GREATER DAYS
A Clinical Psychologist Dr. Jeannie Celestial who was in the meeting said this uplifting info which I may butcher or modify from my notes:
- Give time- to the grief you are feeling from no more work or the loss of normalcy.
- Routine- Make a sense of normalcy or routine for yourself. Make rituals and bring them back into your picture.
- Connection- Stay connected to your friends and family. Reach out to one another
- Mindfulness- Ask the ancestors above to come down. Visualize them as you raise your hands up and them cleansing your body and giving you the positive energy to move forward. Make it visible, picture the world holding hands in healing.
This was very powerful to me and made me feel a ton lighter. Dr. Jeannie is also one of three authors of:
The Filipino Instant Pot Cookbook: Classic and Modern Filipino Recipes for Your Electric Pressure Cooker
Currently checking out resources in how to find ways to be of help?
Found this:
Any resident of the Richmond (in zip codes 94121 or 94118) in need of food assistance should come to one of our three weekly food pantries to sign up and receive a free bag of fresh groceries. https://richmondsf.org/feeding-the-richmond-district.../
CNN
https://www.cnn.com/2020/03/13/us/iyw-how-to-help-hungry-students-coronavirus-trnd/index.html
Food Bank- Volunteer or Donate Utensil/Canned Goods
Lots of folks are hoarding because they are not used to this and are scared. But they don't need to, groceries get stocked!
https://www.sfmfoodbank.org/community-volunteer-support/
Little Free Pantry In The Excelsior SF
http://mapping.littlefreepantry.org/pantry/918
Reflection
In a broad sense, it's ok to just be. To put yourself first. Connect with your friends and community, show up and remember that it's ok to not show up too. Just do your best, which is the best you can do for yourself. Take things slow and go with a guideline for yourself but, allow yourself to enjoy falling out of routine to cry, to break down, to do something out of your routine. It's ok if you drink alcohol or take another hit of that blunt or eat another edible, but try to do so in moderation. In key always in life, it is a balance. Take the present time to breathe and be present to enjoy the small things that you are currently living, breathing, moving. That's what it's about, to live and have gratitude to whatever that is HAPPENING.
Put yourself in priority. Just because you are not in the frontline it's ok and if you are in the front line you are totally appreciated for the work you do. Whether you are a volunteer or worker. Everyone appreciates your effort.
BIG
I LOVE YOU
-Thanks best friend for helping me fully tap in.
#JayRayDntPlay
